I Was a Walking Dead Fan

Was a fan. I am not any more as of last night at 9:45.

Okay I knew it was a pretty violent show I mean heck you HAVE to kill zombies right?

But at the end of last season this guy who since I became a fan almost 2 seasons ago I had no idea who he was…he killed someone with a barbed wired baseball bat. I was so into the characters I HAD to watch to find out who it was. And I hoped it wasn’t  my favorite and may be he didn’t kill him…maybe he just hit him.

Well he not only hit him…he kept hitting the character over and over.  You didn’t see the blows but you saw the results to the guy’s head And the blood flying! Then he did the same to another guy!

This man, Negan I guess his name is taunted the main character until he broke his spirit then tried to make him hack his son’s arm off with an ax!

By this time I was actually shaking, my heart pounded and I was  almost in tears. I thought…I call myself a Christian, I love life, I hate violence. There is too much violence in this world in real life I just can’t watch it on tv. Even though it’s just tv and not real.

Closing my eyes while a pretend zombie is killed is pretty bad, but I just can’t condone killing people so brutally! Even if it’s JUST t.v. and so much hate. There is enough of that in the world too.

So sorry to say walking dead writers…you lost a viewer.

Advertisements

Fireflies, Ice Cream Cones and Unicorns

I know I haven’t written in awhile. Been too busy with physical therapy for the bionic knee and everyday real life stuff. I saw a firefly and man did it bring back wonderful memories. Not just memories but feelings. You know the kind of memories that make you sit back, take a deep breath, close your eyes and smile.

I remembered chasing fireflies in our back yard the grass cool on our feet. My brother and I laughing, not worrying about a thing but who would catch the most.

I recalled hearing the sound of the ice cream truck coming up our street and hoping mom would say we could have a treat on a hot summer day.

Then I thought of the days we would all gather in our yard and play baseball until it was too dark to see.

My brother and I would take paper, milk cartons, anything we could get our hands on and make a city on the floor of our family room. We would spend days making his Matchbox cars go around those paper streets. Until mom had to run the vacuum.

I remember holding my children, rocking them to sleep. Playing Barbies with my daughter, Transformers with my son. Chasing our little dog Angel around the yard.

Then the hard years when nothing seemed to go right. So much sorrow and pain. Trying to help those 2 children as they struggled in this big, crazy, unforgiving world.

My daughter’s favorite words to me of late are, ” mom the world isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.” I know, but when and how did things become so hard?

I worry. My kids are off on their own now. So I worry about them. I have a granddaughter and I worry about her.my parents are getting older yup I worry about them.

I turn on the tv and see people killing each other. How can you hate someone that much?? Someone you don’t even know?

It’s time to elect a new president. One candidate lies, the other makes fun of others. Just vote for the better of the 2 they say. Which one is that?? And what’s going to happen once that one is in control of our country?

I was raised that the Bible is from God, you do as he says. But now issues arise and I wonder and I’m told … that book was written so many years ago, people and things were so different then. I’m a good person, I have obeyed those 10 commandments. Why can’t we see each other as equals? As brothers and sisters. There is good in all of us. We with more need to help those with less. Where is that good Samaritan?

Color, race, sexual orientation, age … we are all God’s children

When and why did things become so hard God? Why is it I watch the fireflies with a smile, yet have no desire to catch one? Could I even hit a baseball any more? The ice cream truck doesn’t come up our street any more. Those Matchboxes are packed away. But I still get excited when I see a rainbow after a storm and am still looking for that elusive Unicorn.

I will share my good memories with my granddaughter and hopefully make a lot more. But in the meantime, I think I answered a question for myself. What does the Bible mean to ME … not laws I need to live by. But wisdom I can live by. I found these 2 scriptures and they give me hope.

Romans 15: 13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

2 cor. 5:7

For we live by faith, not by sight.

Thanks for spending time with me. Peace be with you.

Blacktop and Diesel Smoke

It’s too hot, since my bionic knee isn’t up to par yet there isn’t much I can do but stay inside and try to chill.

I had an English teacher in Jr. high who ever so often would have a list and we would have to pick something from that list and write about it. He would then pick his favorite and read it in front of the class. All my fellow students and friends hated this. I secretly lived it! Give me a reason to write and I’m gunho!

I remember though walking into class one day, the teacher pulls out a cassette recorder…yea, anyone remember those? Anyway, once everyone was seated he clicks it on and we all. Hear bongo drums, and the sound of seagulls and the surf. Then he begins to read….it’s my essay! Omg, I felt like sliding under my desk! I had written about the beach and he had turned it into a Hawaiian paradise! LOL all I can remember is being mortified and yet so secretly proud. But I think I told my friends…omg how could he have done that!!! How gross!

Any way, sitting at the breakfast table this morning my dad said something about  blacktop and Diesel smoke. He said gee, I should write a country song and make millions. Well he goes off but what does my stupid brain do?

Blacktop and Diesel smoke, going home to see my folk. Ain’t  been home in awhile.

Gonna hear sweet baby cry, wanna hear my lover’s sigh..being in her arms is such a high.

Listening to 18 wheels a turn, feeling that asphalt burn..I know this old rig won’t let me down.

Got a bunch of miles to go, thinking as the dashboard glows…they all know I love them so.

Turnin in that familiar drive, seeing that warm porch light glow just makes me feel so alive.

Blacktop and Diesel smoke, going home to see my folk. Ain’t been home in awhile….

Ok Mr. F. Thanks for the memories.

 

 

 

Come On Down! You’re the Next Contestant on the Price Is Right!

I love my parents, I always thought they were really cool parents. A lot of kids I grew up with had older parents, mine were young. They did things with us. But being home now recovering from knee surgery has me thinking … what happened to those cool parents?

They HAVE to watch the Price Is Right! I’m sure it’s a neat show, it’s been around for ages and everyone on the show has so much fun. My parents have so much fun, trying to figure out the prices and predict who the winner will be. But for some reason that show bugs me. I sneak away into another room and do anything to drown out the cheers.

But last night as I lay in my bed …thinking…I do too much of that. I thought of another price that was right. Years and years ago.

There was a cross, a crown of thorns. Torture, suffering, weeping and death. The Lord, our Father in Heaven, bought us for the Price of His son’s life. The highest price anyone could ever pay. And for what? For me you say???!!

How could someone give their life for someone who wasn’t even thought of at the time??? They say HE did it because HE loves us. But I don’t understand, HE didn’t even know me.

How do I  deserve this gift? I know I was a pretty good child growing up, I didn’t really want to go to Sunday school and as a teenager after I was confirmed I did not want to go to church.I live a good life now, but what makes me so special to HIM that HE would do that for me?

I just can’t fathom it. And maybe I never will. But I know that when I walk up front to take that bread and wine every Sunday, I feel loved. When I hold my granddaughter and she smiles at me…I feel love. When I sit outside enjoying the quiet of our back yard, I feel love. I feel peace, I feel an ocean of thanksgiving bubbling up inside me. I can’t ever begin to thank HIM or repay HIM for that price HE paid.

Yet, why is it that  I feel these  things when I am happy, when things are going great? Why can’t I feel HIS smile, HIS arms around me when I feel so down, alone or afraid?

Why do I tear up hearing our Pastor speak about the Lord’s love for us and how HE is always there for us no matter what? Yet I wonder as I say my prayers “are you listening Lord”?

Then I end up feeling guilty that I feel that way when I know I am HIS child and HE has done this not only for me but for millions of others.

I guess I’m just human, I’m made that way. I do know you’re there God and I thank you with all my might. But please let me ask of you to let me never forget that HIS price is always right.

 

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

My one niece who graduated from college decorated her cap with that saying. She has visited, studyed and now taught in so many countries it makes my head spin. France, Italy, Ireland, Scotland, I don’t know I might have forgot some!   But I have watched thru her eyes all the wonderful places she has been to, all the people she has met, the wonder and the smiles on her beautiful face. The buildings, the art… her love of life.

And I ponder what happened to my life? Did I waste it? I wanted to go to college for art right after school. But I was quiet and shy. I was afraid. I got a portfolio together, yet somehow missed the due date. I got a job in a blouse mill. I met some one and married. I had 2 wonderful children. I had to get divorced.

I then moved back in with my parents so they could watch my children while I worked. It seemed the years just flew by. My children grew up and have moved out. I have another job. I work, I attend a wonderful church where I am involved in a few committees. I love helping others. I love my family, my friends, the people at my church. Yet, I feel what is my purpose?

My phrase would probably be…I am lost so I wander!

I know unless I would win the lotto, or marry some really rich dude, I will never see all the places that my niece has. I’m lucky my parents took me all over most of the United States when I was growing up.

I am also thankful for all I have, for all that God has given me over the years. When I was married, living with someone on cocaine, God saw that my babies and I were safe, that we had food to eat and a warm place to stay.

I’m thankful for my job that I have had for 16years now although I just manage to make my bills…I make them. I have a nice car, bought it new. Good health insurance … I have 2 bionic knees and had weight loss surgery. I feel pretty good.

Did I love my kids enough, spend enough time with them as they grew? I had to work. They are both wonderful hard working, caring adults. We had many hard times, yet many times God kept us safe and got us through.

I could go on and on, but my Kindle is running down. I just wish I could feel God’s arm around my shoulders and hear Him whisper…I have a plan for you Sherry and you are going to do this….

Maybe I should think on this, pray and listen for His voice. What is your plan Lord? Here I am, let me wander in your footsteps. Guide my wanderings. So I no longer feel lost.

 

Women are the weaker sex?

The age old argument…who is the strongest sex? I’ m not a feminist that’s for sure. I love when a guy holds a door open for me or pulls a chair out. But hey,  don’t tell me that we are weaker just because we are women.

I once gave up on reading the Bible because of how the women were treated. It makes me mad to see how some women are treated, abused in today’s society yet!  Yet I don’t like the powerful pushy women.

My mother and I always wind up ” discussing” this in our chats. Yes, the garbage needs to be taken out…who does it? Either her or I. Hey, it snowed a ton today…who plows and who uses the shovel?  The man uses the plow or snow blower while the women uses the shovel. A man and women are working in a yard who uses the tractor and who is on her hands and knees? Oops, gave that one away. LOL although I admit I’m sure there are instances where this could be the other way around…but just let me rant. I’m sure if you are a woman you have your little quirks that bug you and if your a man…sorry don’t take it personally. 🙂

I went to PT for the first time yesterday, they took the dressing off my incision. Looks like a mini railroad track going down my knee. Physician ast.said it looked beautiful! I have to say I did pretty dang good too with all the bending and pulling. I looked around and saw so many strong women working to get back into the swing of things again. Then I looked around and noticed everyone working in that huge room was a woman! Not a man in sight except a few patients. Way to go girls!

My daughter called , she and her BF went tubing on the river. She cut her leg, when was the last time she had a tetanus shot? I keep thinking of the girl who got a flesh eating bacteria in a river.       I’m divorced and have been living with my parents for years, I now am glad I never moved out because spending all this time home with my mother who is now 78 I think, I see how she is changing. She’s forgetting things. I worry about her.     My son has a 7 month old daughter, they took her on a boat this weekend…omg will she get sunburn? Fall overboard?     So much is going on at work, i’m so busy, others need to do my work because I’m out for the next couple weeks.  Get my drift? Women have a ton of stuff to worry about and hey, we roll with punches just like the good old boys do.

One  thing I want to say is our Pastor actually apologized to the women in our congregation once during his sermon about how women are treated because they are women. I like him. He’s cool. He reminds us…ME, every week that we are all God’s children and that no matter what HE (God) loves us.

I was really down and depressed yesterday, even after having a great morning. I even had a bout of some tears too. Yet I stop and think about how God made us, women AND men HE wants us to know that with His help we can do anything. Didn’t Jesus say with faith as small as a mustard seed, we can move a mountain? Matthew 17:20…I love Google. I also love that verse, makes me think of so many things we could accomplish with that tiny mustard seed of faith. I wish I could fly over the world and drop a seed one for each person! See what would grow.

Oh, just to let you know…I did read the Bible thru and had a great time sharing my thoughts with some others in my church. I guess all is good right now. I’m smiling, bending my bionic knee and thanking God that HE made me so strong.

Thanks for reading! And have a great day!

 

Hello world

Hello to anyone who has stumbled onto my first blog. I would like to inform you that… I like to…no let’s  start over…I LOVE to write. For years I have had this obsession about buying notebooks. I loved holding that empty book in my hands, seeing those empty lines, imagining wonderful stories that I would write. But I would begin by writing a journal and as seeing my life just wasn’t too exciting…yup, I stopped writing. Those empty pages either remained empty, became scribble pages or were used for shopping lists or to jot down a recipe.

Now I always wanted to start out my writing with the statement ” I think too much” because I really do you know. I am thinking inside my head 24 hours a day! From the moment I wake to the moment I fall or can’t fall asleep. I rehearse conversations over and over. I plan my day. I wonder what will happen next on my favorite show. I worry how I will pay my bills and of course pray and talk to God. Sometimes I wish I could turn it off!

But anyway,  My opening statement today has to be… I AM BORED TO TEARS!

Let me explain. I had surgery 4 days ago to have my left knee replaced. It all went well and I am feeling pretty good considering I now have 2  bionic knees. Anyway, I  spent 3 days in the hospital reading or watching tv in between trying to walk and stretching out my knee again. I’m so glad I could come home and not stay for more therapy because you just don’t rest in a hospital. The lady across the hall had a bad reaction to her meds I think and fell in the middle of the night. Plus another lady down the hall was having problems. Loud ones. The nurses and techs were running up and down the hall and I was praying everyone was all right. An hour or so later when I finally fell asleep…yup…they came in and woke me up to take my vitals! On top of it all, according to them, my veins are very little and they couldn’t find one! Needless to say I’m black and blue… both arms. I have to say though every nurse and tech couldn’t do enough for me. Except let me sleep!

So now I’m home. I have raced up and down our hallway with my walker more times than I can count, did my exercises like a good patient, finished a book, started a new one, spoke on the phone a few times with my daughter, wrote some emails, played my games on my Kindle AND now I’m bored. Hence the new blog. LOL how do you write a blog?

Perhaps next time I will ponder the world’s problems. Who is better to vote for? Hillary or Trump? Who would I like to run for president? Captain Jack Sparrow would be fun. He could be our first pirate president.

Or maybe I’ll work on a romantic suspense …it was a dark and stormy night…Priscilla stood hidden in the corn field. The breeze made the stalks move causing them to make an eerie noise and the leaves itched her cheeks. Was something crawling up her leg? She could hear footsteps, were they coming closer? She knew he was out there somewhere, following her. LOL who names their heroine Priscilla???

Or maybe I’ll just blab about how great my physical therapy went! I’m sure that would be just Devine! ” ok now that you bent you knee as far as it can go that way…try bending it THAT way!”

Did you know redwood trees can  grow up to 350 feet? But their roots are only 6-12 feet deep? Wow! You would think the first strong wind they would fall over! Not so. Know why? They intertwine their roots with other neighborhooding trees! I just read that. So this proves that we as individuals should always rely on others to help keep us strong to stand up during tough times.  Like in church, we are there for each other and in every day life we should strengthen each other. but.. we cannot do that when we  are divided. We can’t do it when we hate each other, or are afraid of each other.We need to intertwine our lives as God’s children together so we can strengthen each other.  We are the same people! When will we realize it?

Oh well…TA-TA for now.